Torture by Treadmill

01 Apr 2010 2 Comments

by katearch1978 in Uncategorized

I went to the doctor last week for my annual check-up and the scale gave me quite the rude awakening.  I decided I really do need to start taking better care of myself.  So after a discussion with my doctor and consulting a couple friends, I decided on the course I needed to take to make a real change in my lifestyle.

This morning I woke up at 4:45AM determined to put in a good 30-45 minutes on the treadmill before I had to take Ron to work.  (I know that doesn’t seem like much of a workout, but I am currently in an oval shape and really quite pathetic.) After a quick side trip to the bathroom, I groggily unearthed the treadmill from the mound of laundry that was resting on it and unsuccessfully tried to turn it on.  I had to wake Ron up so he could show me that I hadn’t hit the right “on” button.  Now I was ready to walk.

Since I needed to wake up, I started at a nice slow pace.  It really wasn’t too bad.  A few minutes later I increased the speed to get a nice brisk pace going.  Now I was beginning to wake up and I was feeling good that I was doing something good for me.

About 15 minutes in, I started to feel it.  I was all sweaty and my feet were starting to burn.  This is when I realized that maybe it wasn’t the best decision to try to wake myself up by walking because I had forgotten a couple things…namely a bra and some shoes.

Do I stop and get those two items?  Heck no!  My inner Jillian Michaels was screaming at my fat ass to get into gear.  “Come on fatty.  You are never going to get any smaller or be any healthier if you quit in the middle because of a little discomfort.  Keep going!!!!”

Twenty five minutes into my self-imposed sadistic treadmill tryst, all I could do was stare at the clock and hope that 5:30 would hurry up and get there.  I was uncomfortable, sweaty, and I missed my bed…not to mention my feet were in agony.  And to add to my embarrassment at being so pathetically out of shape, I now had an audience of two dogs and one fiancé.

The poor guy just wanted to go to work but inner Jillian screamed again, “Come on, Beluga Butt!  If you quit now, you’ll just prove to yourself again that you have no willpower.  You’re stronger than that!  Go!  Go!! Go!!!”

At 5:30 on the dot I told my inner Jillian to stick it and turned the torture device off.  I tried to step onto the floor…but the floor kept on going.  Luckily the wall was closer than it appeared and I was able to brace myself and shut my eyes to try and make the spinning stop.  I took a deep breath and opened my eyes to see Ron standing in front of me.  How embarrassing.  I was having a hard time standing up straight, let alone walk anywhere.  How was I such a huge hot mess after just 30 minutes of walking on a treadmill?!?

Within a few minutes I felt much better and was able to get my screaming feet into a pair of flip flops to drive Ron to work.  On my way home from taking him, I got a text from my co-worker reminding me to bring my shoes to work so we could walk at lunch.

Crap!  I had totally forgotten!!  As it was I was having a hard time standing in my flip flops.  What if I had the same pathetic dizzy reaction when walking with my co-workers?  I know Jodi and Connie would understand, but how would I explain it to my boss that the reason I passed out in the liquor store parking lot next to work on my lunch break was because I am fat and out of shape and the lot happened to be at the top of the hill at the end of our walk?  They all know how much I love my margaritas.  I don’t think I’d have a leg to stand on…literally and figuratively.

So my embarrassment was not over yet.  I had to explain to my co-workers what I did this morning and why I couldn’t walk today, even though the day could not have been more perfect for a nice stroll.  So I did…and once the hysterical laughter died down a bit, they were very understanding and supportive.  Lord knows this isn’t going to be pretty, but I am determined to keep this up.

As I limped away, I thought about how lucky I am to have family, friends, and co-workers there to support me.  Just a few more weeks and hopefully it will get easier…